Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You’ve got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room […]
An Arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up. The Arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah’s help. All to no avail, the […]
Noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream “You might want to […]
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag you’re dragging”. “Oh, really? Darn it!”, said the old lady“I’d better go back and see if I […]
They are seated and after browsing the menu they both decide to order the soup of the day. When the waiter brings their soup the man knocks his spoon on the floor. “Whoops,” he says and turns to the waiter, “I’m terribly sorry but could I have another…” The waiter whips a fresh spoon […]
Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roads Luckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong donkey called Dobbin. He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” Dobbin didn’t move one inch. Then the […]
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a […]
Four married guys go fishing After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: “That’s nothing; […]
Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi. Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi. “Rabbi,” he said, “I […]
It’s a beautiful warm day and a man and his wife are at the Zoo She’s wearing a cute loose-fitting, pink spring dress, Sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the beast goes crazy. He jumps up on the bars, holding on […]
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that […]
All of his tests came back with normal results.Dr Darns said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s […]
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