A chemistry professor wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water […]
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?” She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it.” He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last […]
The female brain works on a different tangent than male. Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a […]
“What a wonderful Easter day! Today, I’m so happy, I’ll even be nice to the nuns”, she said. She went out of her room and saw a nun in the hall. Good morning, Sister Joanna! You look really beautiful today! And that shirt you’re knitting is so pretty! –Thanks, Mother You look great too, […]
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to […]
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice “Hi Sweetheart, its Rajaram I’m on the Train” “Yes, I […]
The owner tells him he has good news and bad news. “The good news is that a man dropped by the studio today and put in an offer to buy every single piece. He just wanted my guarantee that the works would be worth twice what he paid if you were to pass away. […]
Suddenly, the captain announces over the public address system, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to say that I have some bad news. Our engines are malfunctioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds […]
So he gets out of bed, runs downstairs into the living room, and finds his mother chatting to a bunch of her friends. “MUM,” the boy yells at the top of his voice, Well, needless to say, the mother is mortified at her son’s language in front of her guests and scolds the young […]
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy. The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher What can be so hard about teaching […]
A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition? “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.The man shrugs his […]
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & young woman entered She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being […]
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