A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the […] More
A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there,… you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is ‘faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and […] More
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.” The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren” and […] More
A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist “If he could have a c0ndom explaining that his girlfriend has invited him for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!” The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out, he returns and tells him: “Give […] More
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? […] More
Husband gets home and tells his wife “quick, get me a beer before it starts.” She gets the beer. He chugs it and says “quick, get me another before it starts.” She obliges. Husband again chugs it and says “quick, get me another beer before it starts.” The wife replies “if you want another beer […] More
A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder. The Russian tells him, “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.” “Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown […] More
One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to […] More
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his weapon. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. “Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the […] More
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes […] More
A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament. From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament. The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV. […] More
I’m furious, my wife is cheating on me with a painter. I found traces of paint in the bed. It’s good that with a painter, and mine cheats on me with a truck. “That’s enough, how about a truck?” “I found a driver in bed.” More
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