The nurse asked him to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor. – “In front of you?” He asks, shy. The nurse says: – “Well no, but I’ve seen the human body before. The man said, – “Not one like mine. You’d die laughing at my body.” – […] More
The butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s […] More
An elderly man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little maths test: “Here is your first question.” The foreman says. “Without using numbers, represent the number nine?” “Without numbers?” The old man says. “That’s easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” The boss asks. “Have […] More
An Old man entered the car agency together with his young wife. The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself. He could not help staring at the lady, which, of course, the old man noticed. “May I propose a wager,” he said. “If you can do everything […] More
A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: “As a vet – I don’t need to ask my patients all kinds of annoying questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by […] More
A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having s*x in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn’t move. He finally brought the truck’ to a halt inches from […] More
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better and to help with their spelling. She explained: “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he […] More
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell […] More
An elderly woman from California purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that […] More
A young lad was tired of the farm life; so off he went and joined the Navy. His first cruise took him to the south pacific, whereupon stopping at some island he found himself a parrot, He took it back to the ship with him, and kept it aboard ship. After 20+ years he retired […] More
A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, […] More
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But […] More
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