Funny Jokes

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you” She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. […] More

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.” The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.” […] More

A soldier approached a nun Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out […] More

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know, father.” […] More

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent […] More

Bubba the old Redneck from Georgia decides to travel across the south to Virginia to see God’s country. When he gets to Franklin, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first, he must find a job: Bubba walks into an international paper company office and fills out an application as […] More

A newly married couple are in bed when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s fine. How many men have you slept with?” His wife, still in total silence, just stares at the ceiling. The […] More

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweller he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, “No, I’d like to see something much more […] More

One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said, “the sky is absolutely blue” The teacher said no, “it is not, sometimes is black or has different colors.” Another little boy raised his hand and said, “the leaves on the trees are absolutely […] More

After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.” “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?” He […] More

April was explaining to her husband how much fun they’d had at the beach during her “girls day” outing. “But,” she told him, “It didn’t end all that great for me.” “Why, what happened?” he asked. “I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn’t go out far because the waves […] More