Funny Jokes

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After […]

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A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to […]

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Three newlywed men were discussing their wives. The first guy married an Iowa gal; he […]

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She did what he said The retiring mailman, The mailman who had been on the same route for 10 years was leaving the job. He had made many friends on the route and decided to put a note in their mailboxes informing them. Many on his route came out of their houses to wish him […] More

New students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor began the lecture by telling them: “In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first […] More

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, “I have a s*xual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.” “Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.” So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, “Please […] More

A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, “So I hear you hunt deer.” The man looked away and turned red. “What’s wrong?” asked the woman. “I’m not used to someone calling me dear on the first date,” the man said. More

A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls. The guy walks up and down the beach in his bathing suit and nothing. Nobody looks. He comes back to his friend and the friend says “try a speedo”. So he walks up and down the beach in his speedo. Nothing. […] More

A drunk man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, “This is the pig I’ve been f*cking’.” His wife says, “That’s a duck.” He quickly replies, “I wasn’t talking to you.” More

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match… The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun. She let it slip by and the match […] More

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of […] More

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: “why do you think you deserve custody of the child?” Ex wife: “I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him” Judge: “that is a simple yet good reason.” Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: “why do you think […] More