Funny Jokes

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large c*ndoms. He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?” More

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […] More

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. “It’s […] More

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you […] More

Little Johnny’s neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad […] More

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the […] More

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a p*nis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a […] More

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out […] More

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s […] More

A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, “Are you a smoker?” “Not even a little,” said the young man. “How about alcoholic beverages?” “Never touch ’em,” he replied. The boss smiled and asked, “So you spend a lot of time with girls?” The applicant said, “No, not […] More

One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife’s arm… the wife is turned and she tells him: I’m sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh. The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep… Some […] More