A little boy asks his mother, “Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?” The mother says: ‘What? Where did you hear that? The boy replied: “Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, ‘Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.’ More
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey […] More
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those Headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.” “No more headaches?” The husband asks, “What happened?” His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,… “I do not […] More
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then she hide under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen […] More
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want […] More
It’s 1957 and Bob goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bob what they’re planning to do on the date. Bob politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why […] More
A retired man went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. […] More
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, “Why is your head so small?” He replies, “I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had s*x with all of them. Their leader, who […] More
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for […] More
Death: It’s your time. give me your hand. Blonde: No! i know that if i don’t touch you then I’ll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass… More
60th High School Reunion, He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles . […] More
Son: “Daddy i fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!! “ Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is […] More
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