At the end of humanity, there were three gentlemen left on the face of the Earth. The Creator (or whatever divine entity you’d like to place here) descends from the heavens to congratulate the last three survivors. “You’ve made it to the end my friends.” States the God-being to the three men. “As reward for […] More
Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings the girl over. “Why are you staring at me and grinning, you pervert?” she says. The old man sweetly […] More
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, “Watson, what do you see?” “Stars and the moon, dear Holmes,” he says. “What does it mean?” Sherlock asks. “Well,” says Watson. “It quite simply means that there are billions of gaseous balls […] More
Man looks at his friend and says “if you and a friend go camping you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a c*ndom in your butt would you tell anyone? ” The friend says im a disgusted tone “No” So the man says “ok let’s go camping More
One day in class the teacher looks over to little Johnny and sees him scratching his downstairs under the table, She walks over to him and says, Johnny what are you doing you shouldn’t be scratching down there. Johnny replies but miss it’s hurting down there and it itches so bad I can’t help myself. […] More
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the […] More
An eighty-five year old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates. They had been in good health for the last ten years, mainly as a result of the wife’s interest in healthy diets and exercise. St. Peter welcomed them into Heaven and took them to […] More
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last […] More
An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I`d like to have some birth-control pills.” Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you`re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?” […] More
Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.” Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your needs, so […] More
Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased. In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words “Queen Size.” He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, “Look Grandma, you wear […] More
A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, “May I help you sir? The man says, “Yes, I’m in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out of the window.” The desk clerk says, […] More
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