One day a man goes to the beach to get a tan, he is wearing no clothes except for a newspaper to cover his privates. A little girl walk up to him and asks ”What is under the newspaper?” the man replies ”Oh, that’s my birdy, don’t touch it.” Soon after, he falls asleep. When […] More
One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then proceeded to dig nervously in her wallet. She was having obvious trouble counting out the correct bills and change. But rather than help, the cashier simply […] More
When I was interned in Dr. Eiras Hospital, I began to have panic crises. One day, I decided to consult the psychiatrist in charge of my case; “Doctor, I am overcome by fear; it takes from me the joy of living.” “Here in my office there is a mouse that eats my books”, said the […] More
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out […] More
The 3 farmers Once there was 3 really poor farmers. One day they saw a flier for the county fair. World’s fattest pig wins 1 million dollars. There pig wasn’t fat at all but one of the farmers had an idea. They trained a monkey to put corks in bottles. After a week of training […] More
A man and his wife were on a driving holiday and looking for a hotel for the night. When they found one the manager said, “Yes, we have vacancies, it will cost £100 each for the night.” That was a well outside their budget, so they politely turned the offer down and asked if there […] More
This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In […] More
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral […] More
A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man […] More
Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Rail Road. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider. One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched. “Where are you going today?” Bob asked, smiling. “Well, what does the […] More
The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club and she drove a 300-yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor said Wow I have never seen you play this well before! Marie says I took lessons. A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her […] More
The British, French and Aussie’s do a study. Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger […] More
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