I was on a very crowded bus and an old woman with a walker gets on. All the other passengers proceed to file on and take up the remaining standing places but she stands close to me, staring me in the eyes. After 5 minutes of this, I kindly ask, ‘may I help you?’ She replies, “yes, I […] More
An elderly man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner & said, “I-I-I w-w-wanna-t the j-joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner. “I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife & s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this […] More
An old man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza… CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number, sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? […] More
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.” The woman leaves the window & goes over to the bank manager to inform him […] More
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.” “What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor. “When the cows are standing,” the farmer explained, “it means no rain is likely for […] More
A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar Suddenly a […]
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to […]
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and […]
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every […]
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife […]
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. […]
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one […]
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