A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is sucking down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts. The man thought nothing of it and orders another drink. Time goes by and the man notices the dog still licking his balls. So the man looks […] More
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says “Doc, I’m getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I’m a v*rgin, is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try… On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take […] More
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. […] More
After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents. Wife: “Dear, I have something very serious to tell you.” Husband: “What’s up?” Wife: “According to DNA test results, this is not […] More
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral […] More
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded doctors waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’ ‘There’s something wrong with my d!ck’, he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’ ‘Why […] More
Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the judge. “Well, your honor, every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife looked […] More
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. […] More
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.” The man responds “Huh.. that’s interesting.. why did you name them such names?” The […] More
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, When a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Romance” by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce! “ Then another young and beautiful woman gets on […] More
A boy starts his first day at Walmart. His trainer says to him “I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd.” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says “Can I help you, m’am?” Lady goes “I’m looking for some […] More
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had s*x with a teacher. When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the […] More
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