Reaction: LOL

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven.” The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents […] More

A Man Rushes Into A Bar And Says, “Quick! Give me a pint of lager!” No sooner does he finish that drink, he orders a whisky and slams it down. As fast as the bartender is pouring the drinks, the man is knocking them back, one after the other. The bartender says, “Are you okay […] More

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son, “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair […] More

Two dogs in a vets waiting room. 1st dog is old, grey around the muzzle has a bad limp and smells bad. 2nd dog, much younger, says to the old dog, ” Why are you here today ” Old dog replies, ”I am going to be put to sleep, i’m in very bad health, and […] More

Two old Italian men are sitting on a bench arguing about who is the most desirable woman in the world. The first says, “For me, it must be the greatest Italian actress, Sophia Loren. Every man who ever saw her movies fantasized about her.” The second man replies, “That’s what I used to think, but […] More

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed: Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do and […] More

The nurse asked him to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor. – “In front of you?” He asks, shy. The nurse says: – “Well no, but I’ve seen the human body before. The man said, – “Not one like mine. You’d die laughing at my body.” – […] More

An elderly man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little maths test: “Here is your first question.” The foreman says. “Without using numbers, represent the number nine?” “Without numbers?” The old man says. “That’s easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” The boss asks. “Have […] More

An Old man entered the car agency together with his young wife. The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself. He could not help staring at the lady, which, of course, the old man noticed. “May I propose a wager,” he said. “If you can do everything […] More

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: “As a vet – I don’t need to ask my patients all kinds of annoying questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by […] More

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having s*x in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn’t move. He finally brought the truck’ to a halt inches from […] More

A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell […] More