A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘tool.’ Without blinking or saying […] More
A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The blonde says, “I tried that, but it was too dizzy.” More
A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a few weeks of each other. But Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. So she made them all promise to send a postcard from their honeymoons with a few words on how marital procreation felt. The […] More
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge…… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all […] More
A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!” “I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.” “What do you think about […] More
A Kansas farmwife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on a few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He […] More
They want to try BDSM for the first time. So one afternoon, the husband comes home from work, heads upstairs to the bedroom to change, and finds his wife spread out on the bed decked out in bondage gear and lingerie. Without skipping a beat the husband gets undressed and leans down and asks her […] More
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But […] More
An elderly man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons […] More
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, I’ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren’t any ducks out there, I’m not going hunting.” So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, “Well I’m not going to […] More
A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When an old woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages. She said, “Let’s see now, there’s the twins, Sally and Billy, they’re eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they’re sixteen. And […] More
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.” The woman leaves the window & goes over to the bank manager to inform him […] More
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