A Man Accidentally Elbows a Woman’s Chest as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says “if your heart is as soft as your chest, I know you’ll forgive me.” To which the woman replied “if your tool is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 318.” More
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling, his 4-year-old […] More
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes […] More
The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names: ‘The tender one’ ‘The amazing one’ ‘Lady of my dreams, She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother. Then she called the second number to which his sister replied. When she dialed the third number her own phone […] More
A man walks in his room after work and is surprised to find his wife lying undressed on the bed. After careful examination he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a undressed man standing there. ‘Who the hell are you?’ he yells. […] More
A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The blonde says, “I tried that, but it was too dizzy.” More
A young woman goes to her boyfriend’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. This is to be her first time meeting his family, and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine Thanksgiving meal. The young lass is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the beans. […] More
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge…… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all […] More
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do […] More
A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!” “I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.” “What do you think about […] More
A lady finds out that she is pregnant, but she is worried. He husband has anger management issues, yelling a lot, breaking things, really horrible to be around. She doesn’t want her kids to be like that, so she asks her doctor for advice. Her doctor says “Rub your belly once a day every day […] More
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But […] More
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